Washington Communities Against Predators

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The Essentials

Disclaimer: we're not professional body guards or security consultants.

We've read a lot of books on security, we've talked to a lot of law enforcement, read a lot of reports, and we've listened to a lot of prevention educators. This list of 'Essentials' is a product of what we've learned, and it is a work in progress.

1. Start Early
   1. When your child is old enough to learn 'danger! hot!' then your child is old enough to learn what body parts are private, and to learn proper terms for those body parts.
   2. Make something a 'surprise' instead of keeping it a 'secret.' This is a lot easier than teaching kids the difference between good and bad secrets.
   3. Read Protecting the Gift, by Gavin de Becker. Specifically, Chapter 7 is a great resource for screening child-care, but the entire book is worth its weight in gold.
2. Trust Your Instincts, and your Child's
   1. That 'ick' feeling is your brain telling you that something is wrong. If your kid gets an 'ick' feeling, listen to them.
   2. If your child doesn't want to hug someone, or spend time with someone, don't pressure them to do so. Ask yourself what message you're giving your child when you make them hug someone they don't want to touch.
   3. Don't let what your head says is "reasonable" override what your instinct says is "risk", especially if you're with your kids.
3. You can Trust Everyone- so long as they stay within their roles:
   1. 'Good' adults don't ask kids for help or directions.
   2. Acquaintances don't offer children rides or treats, even if they're coaches or teachers - they talk to the parents first.
   3. Ice cream sellers don't give product away.
   4. If someone is acting outside of their role, ask yourself 'why?'
4. Understand Parental Controls
   1. A parental control is a boundary that you install, on your computer or on your community.
   2. Determine the path your child will travel to and from school. Visit Family Watch Dog, and see if/where homes of registered offenders are located. Let your kid know which houses to stay away from, and point out the houses of trusted people - introduce those people to your child.
   3. Give your kid Gavin de Becker's "Test of Twelve" to see if they're ready to make the walk to school without an adult. If they pass the test, arrange for your child to walk with other kids. Kids are at risk when they behave in a predictable manner without a guardian. Traveling to and from school is when children are at greatest risk from non-family members.
   4. Ask about your child's day, and listen to the answer. Introduce yourself to the parents of his friends, on the phone or at school functions.
   5. Don't send your kid online alone.
      1. Do not allow your older child to use the internet when you're not home.
      2. Keep computers in a central, family area like the dining room.
      3. Install parental controls. MSN, for example, has some great parental controls from One Care.
      4. Learn about the internet. Go to NetSmartz' parent resources, and read-up on what you need to know.
      5. Children should not communicate online with anyone that YOU have not met in real life. Let your child know to never, ever arrange to meet someone from the internet. 
5. Remain Calm - If something happens to your child, you need to be the port in the storm.
   1. Children are less likely to report a crime committed against them if they think you will become extremely emotional.
   2. All discussions about safety and security should be conducted as calmly and pro-actively as possible.